As I sit on my bed and commence writing for this week, I cannot help but stare at the title for longer than I normally would—my mind right now is half-wincing at the sheer 'normalness' of it while still nodding in agreement at how apt it feels .
Now, this post is all about preparation and building blocks. It's going to focus on processes and why we need them. There's no work of fiction here today. Just raw facts and personal experiences.
About five, no six days ago, I had the (dreadful) privilege of adorning the bare backside of a younger cousin with a tight slap. Now, I call it a privilege because it opened my eyes to the need for this topic—to the need for preparation. But it was truly dreadful because it was not something I would expect from myself in a 'stable' state. So, as I stared in horror at my right hand—which I still believe had acted on its own—while my cousin screamed blue murder in my arms, the first thought that came to taunt me—even as I soothed the little girl and explained to her the reason for my action and it being a consequence of her misbehaviour—was a replay of a chat I'd had with an older friend when I'd freely and passionately spoken against spanking or using any form of physical beating as disciplinary measures against children.
Like I said, in that moment and for that period of time, I had to swallow my words. And while now, I've been able to bring my mind back on track and stick to my belief that children would behave better when time is taken to understand them and disciplinary measures asides physical beatings are given to them (because I'm now seeing it work on said child), the situation, like I said, opened my eyes.
Now you may be wondering just how the aforementioned experience has anything to do with preparation and processes. Well, the thing is that for many of us, there might be several conditions we have spoken or are still speaking against—just like 'I' had always spoken against children being beaten as a way of discipline and might have heatedly reiterated it on various occasions. But only when we're finally placed in that situation (or in similar circumstances) do we really get to test our mettle and resolve. And the shocking truth is that most times, we end up falling short of our loud, blatant expectations.
The major reason why this happens? A lack of preparation on our part or our failure to go through processes and learn what is right or use them as the stepping stones that they are, to reach our ideal goals.
A good example would be found in a previous post of mine, 'of cycles and linear issues'.
Now friend, it's one thing to complain that things aren't going right around you( and to dream about the way you'd do things better), and it's another to actually prepare yourself so you can boldly and effectively do what you believe is better when the time for it arrives and the ball is finally in your court. It's one thing to claim you'd want to make a difference on a global scale and it's another to take the steps needed to do so—by beginning from wherever you find yourself at that moment.
Life happens in stages and unless you allow yourself (either due to ignorance or maybe laxity) miss the lessons they contain, you'll be sure to grow wiser and build a firmer foundation for your ideals and values to rest on. So just like the situation with my cousin, if I had a dream to one day teach people on better ways to handle their kids on a global scale, then I'd need to learn how to handle the children placed in my care at my early stages. This means that I can decide to take life as a teacher and certain experiences as life's examples to us before the exams come. And just as examples are meant to be learnt from, so we can tackle the harder questions when they arise, these experiences that we encounter do same—they give us an avenue to express our values and ideals in smaller stages and show us just how well we can tackle them (both our errors and passes) and what we can learn from them.
It's like someone who says one of his personal goals is to have a completely clutter-free house when he gets a place of his own but isn't able to maintain his room—cluttered family home or not. If he cannot seem to handle the little space he owns now, what are the chances that he'll ever be able to do so in a place of his own if he continues that way? The chances are very slim really.
So the basic point of this post is to remind us that our lives follow this manner—line upon line, precept upon precept, experience upon experience, until it all culminates at that point of the massive change we all envision.
*"The Lion, Bear and the Giant", is an allegory coined to symbolise the stages in King David's life as he grew from a lowly shepherd to Israel's war hero.
Another beautiful piece
Very timely 💯