Savouring the moment

Have you ever felt like you were living your life on autopilot? Ever looked back and suddenly realized that your memories of most happenings in your life were pretty hazy? Almost like you couldn't place down the details of things that happened during that period even if you tried?

Has your life currently been feeling like it's been from one goal to the other, one achievement to the next, one function to another, or even from a previous chore to more chores, so you don't really take note anymore?

Well my friend, if you have been feeling this way, know it with a crushing certainty that you are not alone. The 'rush' plaguing our present generation has made everything we do feel like there's someone holding a remote control, with their fingers ever on the 'fast-forward' button. It seems there's barely enough time to do everything, and so people automatically move through the 'ordinary' motions of life, their hearts and minds totally focused on what the next 'big thing' could be.

Now there were once seasons in my life when this happened to me constantly. I got so busy, depressed or just didn't care enough, and I let days pass by me in a blur of 'nonsensical' and 'unnoteworthy' activities, only stopping myself internally once in a while to register the 'good stuff' – which I felt rarely happened to me, by the way – somewhere in my brain.

Looking back on those days now, or at least whenever I try to, I can't help but wince at how fuzzy the memories feel inside my head. It's almost like my brain never registered experiencing those seasons, and so most times, I'm forced to exert myself while trying to bring up a memory, no matter how small. And even then sometimes, the memories have gaps in them – holes in time my brain somehow skipped past or floated over.

I would gaze at my phone screen while people talked or listen in on the conversations of others forlornly as they shared about the precious moments their minds had stored – like jewels in a secret chest or like rich, countless, golden-brown grains in a room full of sacks – and wonder why I didn't seem to have any noteworthy moments like those.

It took me a while to realise that some of their 'noteworthy' moments weren't really noteworthy at all, at least from my perception of what I felt noteworthy experiences had to look or sound like. And as I listened, the more I realised that what made those moments worthy of note was the filter their minds had chosen to put on, through which they had experienced those times in their lives.

At first, I scorned the thought secretly, wondering why anyone would want to hold on to and cherish plain, boring memories. That was until the day it dawned on me, that our lives are but culminations of several 'plain' memories that sometimes meet at a high point to submerge us in a rush of feelings, and that the high points we so longed for were very few and inbetween.

I realised that for most of us, with the way we had decided to live, our brains would only end up registering the spectacular and very unusual moments as things to cherish and hold on to, disregarding the others it perceived to be ordinary. And at the end, we would be left with a meager amount of memories to look back on when we really do need their comforting reassurance.

That was when I made what has become for me, a life changing decision – to savour as many experiences as I could, and engrave them on the pages of my mind, like molten inscriptions on solid gold.

Living by that decision though has been a "wonder-full" journey in every sense(LOL). I've had to learn that savouring moments doesn't necessarily mean I have to stand still to capture what goes on around me but that sometimes, slowing down enough to relish even the most basic of experiences is all I need to do. I've had to realise that it actually comes to us as easy as breathing does, but the current state of our generation has become alienated from it because of the subtle indoctrination that has taught us to equate success with a busy life, forever on the go. I have learnt and I am still learning that I have the power to choose for myself, the experiences I want to soak and lose myself in as I would in a bathtub full of bubbles and also the ones I'd like to take along with me and nibble on from time to time. Ironically, in choosing to intentionally savour parts of life, I have also learnt how to let go and allow memories that are unworthy of my attention and intent perusal, fade away like dry leaves on a windy harmattan morning.

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Author's note:

Hey there! I hope you enjoyed the latest installment on HisPortion, and that this sneak peak into my head and heart will bring you aid and also pull you on a journey packed with the intentional relishing of memories.

Always remember – You are loved and very well cared for.