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Writer's pictureOfure Ogbidi

JEALOUSY: THE GREEN-EYED MONSTER



'Jealousy', this is one word I'm sure we're all familiar with; an emotion we've at many points felt. Some may refer to it as envy, while others say there's a bit of a difference(though I'm still not sure what it is till date. Me, I'm just hung up on why so many adjectives had to end with the letter 'Y' – pun intended. You've got words like, pretty, ugly, dainty, hungry, happy, petty.... You catch my drift. Anywho, back to our focus.)


From the little child who feels he has to fight for the affection of his parents when a younger one comes, to the grown man who feels he has to fight for the attention of his wife when the child comes, we all get a visit from the green-eyed thing once in a while. Putting it another way, we could say that he graces the doors of our heart with his filthy but overpowering scent seeping through the cracks, putrefying everything in its wake, and pounding with such vehemence that most let him in almost immediately. And at other times, she's so subtle and sleek, having called at our weaker points, and holding in her hands a box of tissues and a still-simmering bowl of sympathy, her eyes gleaming with deceptive understanding, that she's in before we know it!


photo credit:Getty Images/iStockphoto


Now, this entity(however you've experienced it come to you – in the forceful masculine manner or it's subtle feminine form – forgive my personifications) is almost always followed by its three cousins – the pompous Pride, withdrawn and very melancholic Self-pity, and the most apparent of the three, antagonistic Anger. Most times Jealousy née Envy(for those of us who know it by its maiden name.) with the help of either some or all of those three have been known to wreak havoc on souls, leaving them in a state far more wretched than before they arrived.


Now, it's a thing of great alarm and distress that Jealousy has ravaged man since the time of Cain(we all remember his story don't we? It was one of the more popular ones in Sunday-school.), and still continues to do so. This monster doesn't discriminate, but visits the hearts of any – from the rich to the poor, the pompous to the self-effacing, the immoral to the moral – willing to accommodate it. And over time, we have seen that this is one emotion our own willpower succumbs to several times(a week? month? season?). For some reason, people fare better at taming their other passions than they do Jealousy, maybe due to its subtle nature.


So, after having spent four long paragraphs talking about this guy, I'm sure we're wondering where I'm headed, and I'm going to make a stop there now, before this post becomes more pendantical than helpful.


Now, people often wonder if being jealous is such a bad thing. You hear people talk of a 'healthy kind of jealousy', sometimes using scriptures where God was called 'Jealous' to prove their point. Other times people who've failed over and over again to curb this bad guy just get tired and tell themselves they can't help it.


Well, I also was confused and as a Christian, I'd chosen to live by the Bible and would always do so. Because of that, when questions like those above bothered me, I had to go to the Bible for answers, and I got them(still am actually)!


Anyways, it's clearly shown in the scriptures of the Holy book(you could pay a visit to galatians 5; verses 20 and 21. In fact, they're even listed separately there. 'Jealousy' in 20, and 'Envy' in 21. Wow!) that jealousy is on the bad side – the doings of the flesh. And yet, just like I'd said above, we got to see God described numerous times(so I couldn't even pass it off as a mistake) as a 'Jealous God'. So let's just say 'Confused' didn't even begin to describe my state when I saw those. But I knew that there had to be an explanation somewhere. And there was!


So it turns out that Hebrew and Greek are such rich languages that sometimes they make the English language look a bit inept(at this point right now, I can't help but forgive English for having to borrow words that originate from other languages. For some reason is always had a problem with that. But it's sort of clear It really can't help itself.). And so because of that some words in Hebrew had only one English word to describe it and couldn't do it accurately(How do I explain it? Hmm... Okay, imagine a word in Hebrew having to be a sentence or phrase in English if you really wanted it properly explained. The language is that rich and colourful, so it becomes a struggle to just find a single word to describe it, and some times the translators of the Bible failed to do so accurately – though they still did a terribly wonderful job – because English just didn't have the right word for it.).


So basically, the only way to differentiate between what some translations termed 'godly jealousy'(2 Corinthians 11:2) and what we know as the 'green-eyed monster' would be using analogies and sentences or using the heart posture. So trying to sum it up nicely, Godly jealousy is more of a warm, tender, parental(?)* feeling or act – sort of like a mama eagle protecting her babies, or something in that manner – characterised by extreme zealousness and the unquenching need to protect and ensure the right loyalty.

"We all who have experienced this know that there's a sort of bitter, clenching and hollow feeling being jealous leaves imprinted on our souls."

On the other hand, the state the green-eyed monster leaves in its wake is more of a 'vicious, self-centered and covetous, but highly antagonising' state. We all who have experienced this know that there's a sort of bitter, clenching and hollow feeling being jealous leaves imprinted on our souls.


We've seen the differences between both – and further study of the scriptures is advised – so now we can answer our questions:

"Is there such a thing as Godly jealousy?", Well due to English language not being rich enough, yes there is(No offence English. You're practically the only other language I know outside of tongues.).

"Can the green-eyed monster be overcome?", The answer my friend, is yes, and it is found in the book, 1 Corinthians 13:4 –

"Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily." (The Amplified version; emphasis, mine.)

Suppressing things only gives short-term effects in the long run. it's infinitely wiser to replace them instead with something better.

So we see that one thing(among others) Love can never be, is Envious or Jealous. "Okay, I've always known that but it's never seemed to help me before.", is what you might be thinking or saying right now. Well, it might just be that you've been going about it the wrong way. Maybe instead of trying to force yourself to not feel jealous by suppressing the jealous thoughts and feelings when they come you should instead do these:

1. Realise that as a Christian, the love of has been shed abroad in your heart by the Holy Spirit(Romans 5:5), and so you don't need to fight for love, but look inwards.

2. Come to terms with point one and allow it fill your thoughts and heart instead of trying to suppress those ugly feelings when they come. Going back to our description of envy before(as a 'he' or 'she') let's see the difference when this is done.

"he graces the doors of our heart with his filthy but overpowering scent seeping through the cracks, putrefying everything in its wake, and pounding with such vehemence that... the real owner of the house, Mr. Love, has to come out and answer the door himself. Green, surprised eyes face steely, but warm ones as the monster quickly breaks eye contact, fidgeting in place, babbling incoherent excuses to take its leave and swiftly hightailing out of there before Love's 'icky' scent overpowers it. And at other times, she's so subtle and sleek, having called at our weaker points, and holding in her hands a box of tissue and a still-simmering bowl of sympathy, her eyes gleaming with deceptive understanding, that... Miss Love has to be the one to come out and firmly but kindly explain it to her that our heart's in tip-top shape, actually recovering from an overload of beautiful, chocolatey goodness and loving-kindness, and so really isn't in need of her bowl of sympathy or her box of tissues."


Now these analogies aren't only this simple-looking on paper, but also in application. Our daily, constant but increasing realisation of the love of God, not only fills our hearts with a sense of hope, contentment and maturity, but also leaves no room for vice-like passions such as Jealousy. This is one benefit we enjoy as children of God, who have His Spirit in-dwelling.


Now, if you haven't made the decision to be God's own, it's not too late to do so now. Accept Christ who God has sent as Lord and come into His big, happy family. He's waiting for you.


Let us always remember that we are loved and genuinely cared for.


*The parenthesised question mark was placed beside the word "parental" to show that it was not a stereotype, though used in such a content.

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